Blackjack Terms

This isn't as funny as my parody of Craps, but what the hell.

Blackjack has its own unique lingo, and learning it will make it easier to play the game at the casino. The first thing is that you want to find the proper "joint" to play in, meaning a casino that let you make small bets. "High" table minimums are an attempt to "weed" out the low "rollers". By the way, casinos don't discriminate, so as long as you have money, you can play even if you're a "brownie". Unlike poker, you're playing against the house instead of the other players, so there's no "pot". When playing Blackjack and you have a low hand, you take a "hit" from the "dealer". Your objective in taking "hits" is to get the "high" hand. If the "dealer" gives you a lot of good "hits", you'll want to give him a "toke". After all, he's helped to increase your "stash" of chips. If your "stash" increases substantially, you'll probably be feeling some "ecstasy", and you should give the "dealer" another "toke". If the other players are winning too, you'll all become "buds". It's fun to see another player's face "light up" when he's dealt a natural. If you win a substantial amount, the casino will have you fill out some "papers" for the IRS. Blackjack has a different decorum that Craps, and if you make too much noise the pit boss may ask you to "pipe" down. If you're really obnoxious, the "dealer" may "buzz" security. If you're really bad, they may ask you to leave, but they won't "bong" you on the head. Finally, remember that if you're playing a face-up game, then don't touch your cards, or the "dealer" may "smack" you.