Best online casino for most U.S. players: Bovada

If you're in DE, NJ, PA, or WV, online casinos are legal in your state, and you should play at a casino licensed there.

If you're in any other U.S. state, your best bet is Bovada, not because they're good, but because everything else is even worse.  I'm reminded of the Simpsons episode where the RV salesman is telling Homer, "Simpson, you're never gonna own a finer RV.  And I don't mean that in a good way, I mean this is IT for you!"

THE GOOD ABOUT BOVADA

  1. Play the practice games without having to register an account.  Other casinos force you to register so they can market to you.  Bovada is the only U.S.-wide casino I know of that lets you play right away with no registration.  (If you see a registration box, you can cancel it and continue to the game.)  Blackjack?  One click and you're in.  And the games play right in your browser, so you don't have to download any special software.
  2. Consistent payouts.  Online gambling is mostly unregulated and if a casino refuses to pay your winnings you have little recourse.  But Bovada has always had a good reputation for paying out properly.

THE BAD ABOUT BOVADA

  1. Not licensed.  Because online gambling in most states isn't explicitly legal, no legitimate authority will license a U.S.-wide casino.  That means if you have a dispute, you have no recourse.
  2. Customer service is pretty pathetic.
  3. Phantom bets in live dealer games.  While I was watching (not playing) a live roulette game to record spin data for an article, Bovada claimed that I made two losing bets ($45 and $15) that I didn't actually make.  I complained about this, but they insisted I made those bets.  So, you probably want to steer clear of the live dealer games.

Visit Bovada


Gambling problem?

  1. Call the 800-522-4700 hotline or get online help
  2. See these horror stories.
  3. Know that Parkinson's drugs encourage gambling.

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Gambling problem?

  1. Call the 800-522-4700 hotline or get online help
  2. See these horror stories.
  3. Know that Parkinson's drugs encourage gambling.

🔞 Adult Things to Do in Las Vegas

Last update:  September, 2020.


🌿 Cannabis/Marijuana

Planet 13 (large)

Reef Dispensaries (well-reviewed)

MedMen (downtown)

👯‍♀️ Party Pits

Several casinos have "party pits" where the dealers wear lingerie.  Unsurprisingly, the games there typically have the worst odds.

Downtown: Binion's, The D, Golden Gate, Plaza

Strip: (party pits closed) Caesars, Planet Hollywood

Know of more?  Let me know!

👯‍♀️ Pole dancing classes

Classes in pole dancing, lap dancing, striptease at Crash Academy ($20) and Pole Fitness ($30) • Stripper 101 class ($44)

👯‍♀️ Topless shows

Flamingo: X Burlesque ($56),  Sexxy ($60), Crazy Girls (price not listed)

📎 Collect ad cards

Poorly-paid workers hand out advertising cards on the Strip for "Girls to Your Room", featuring scantily-clad models (who are not the ones who show up if you call).  Lots of people collect these cards for fun, trying to see how many different cards they can amass.

👯‍♀️ Strip clubs

Note: All Vegas strip clubs have a large % of negative reviews, so I link to the Yelp pages rather than the club's website, so you can see what you're getting into.  Customers having their credit cards secretly charged for thousands of dollars has been reported frequently. Listed from best to worst reviews: Palamino • Hustler • Crazy Horse III • Girl Collection • Club Platinum  • Little Darlings • Treasures • Scores • Déjà Vu • Spearmint Rhino • Talk of the Town • Centerfolds • Sapphire

👯‍♂️ Male Strippers

Clubs.  Hunk Mansion ($30) • Kings of Hustler ($40)

Shows: Men of Sapphire ($50) • Aussie Heat, Chippendales ($55) • Thunder from Down Under ($71) • Black Magic, Puppetry of the Penis, Magic Mike Live (price not listed)

👯‍♀️ Spot the Hooker

A popular pastime is to hang out in the casinos and try to spot which women are the “working girls”, or to get propositioned.  The most amount of activity is usually in the casino bars, after midnight.  Visitors share their experiences in this forum thread.

👄 Prostitution

Not recommended!
(1) It's illegal in Vegas.
(2) "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", is a lie.  Mugshots are forever.
(3) So are herpes and AIDS.  (4) Scams and theft against customers are rampant.
(5) Your prostitute could have been trafficked (about 60% of are slaves), forced into service through threat of violence, or could be a child. Local PD found 103 child prostitutes, most 15-17 years old, in one recent year.  The closest legal brothels to Vegas are in Pahrump, though in even legal brothels there are reports of indentured servitude and human trafficking. • More on Vegas prostitution

🛏️ Swingers clubs

Clothing-optional resort + spa (price not listed) • Swingers clubs: Red Rooster ($40/couple), Green Door ($60/couple) • Swingers Circle swingers events ($120/couple) • The Studios (LGBTQ friendly, no price listed)



Practice gambling with play money

Before you throw down your hard-earned cash in a casino, PRACTICE FIRST!  Learn the games with play money where it doesn't cost you anything if you lose.  Seriously.

You can play Bovada's games (below) right away without registering for an account.  Most every other online casino makes you give up your email address just to play the fake-money games — ugh.  That's the mean reason Bovada is the only online casino that gets advertising space on my site.  I hope other casinos will eventually start treating their visitors like human beings rather than walking wallets, but until they do, there's Bovada.  One click and you're in.

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